He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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