So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
