So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
