i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
