I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
