I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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