Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
