I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
