I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
