quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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