I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
please come you make the beer taste better
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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