Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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