Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize