My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just want to make out with him forever
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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