And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Screwed.edu
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
