you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
