loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
