I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Found the puke drawer
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
