Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
