I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
