1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize