How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize