Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
