my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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