Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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