I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
