If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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