I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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