OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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