So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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