Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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