Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
