Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was born a porn star she said
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
