Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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