i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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