im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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