Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
