I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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