I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
God, I missed his penis.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
