went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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