ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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