Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
how do flat chested girls get laid?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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