i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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