Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
