Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize