Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
