3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
