how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He passed out mid-signature
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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