I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Green mimosas i think yes
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
