Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
