Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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