how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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