so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
