I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
