lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
