My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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