i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
