I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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