I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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