perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.