I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
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Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.