It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
