So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
