I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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